Blankon Announcement

490: Passionate Singing, and a Chicken.

"If you sing a song with all your might, the door will open."

I turned around from the door with those words engraved on it and retraced my steps.

Why do I have to sing passionately in a place like this? Pass pass. I went back to the T-junction of the maze where I had turned right and took the opposite path this time.

Going straight, I hit another corner and turned right.

"Hey, wait a minute."

In front of me was another door. No, the color of the door was slightly different, so it must be a different door.

I ran my eyes over the golden plate attached to the door. Don’t tell me it’s asking me to sing again?

"If you take off your clothes and show off your muscles, the door will open."

"Sheskaaaaa!"

I shouted towards the stupid maid who was probably on a high platform or at the goal.

Why do I have to show off my muscles in a place like this?

Besides, I don't have muscles worth showing off! I am somewhat proud that I have some muscle thanks to rigorous training by Sister Moroha, but I’m nowhere near the level of King Mismede or King Ferzen.

"Damn, does this mean I have to choose between singing and showing off my muscles…"

I don’t mind singing, but the part about "with all your might" is the problem. There's no soundproofing, and everyone beyond the hedge might hear me. That’s a bit embarrassing. Sakura might have gladly sung, though.

Is showing off my muscles better...? No one will see, and if I do it quickly, it will be over soon.

I took off my coat, leaving just my shirt. I tried rolling up my sleeve and flexing my biceps. The bottom part of the door changed color with a beep. What is this?

When I did the same with my other arm, the color increased. About a tenth of the bottom of the door changed color.

Does showing muscles change the color? And if I change all of it, the door opens? This is so stupid it's not even worth a sigh.

I tried flexing my biceps again, but the color didn’t change. Damn, do I have to show a different muscle?

I gave up and took off my shirt, baring my upper body. It wasn’t cold, probably because of the temperature control in this "garden."

But even if I need to show off muscles, how should I do it? Like this?

I struck a pose similar to bodybuilders, flexing my biceps with both arms. What's it called, a double biceps pose? It's named for showing off the biceps.

Well, my muscles are nowhere near a bodybuilder’s, but it still changed the color a bit with a beep. A professional would probably clear this in one go.

Then I turned around and did the same pose, showing my back muscles. Even my back got some recognition, and the color increased a bit more. Feeling a bit pleased, I struck a side chest pose, showing my side muscles. Oh, the color increased again.

I flexed my entire body and struck the most muscular pose with my fists clenched in front. Just as I thought I nailed it, the door suddenly opened, and there was Kuhn with wide eyes.

"Huh?"

Kuhn’s face showed a slight surprise, but she quickly became expressionless, taking out her smartphone and snapping pictures with flashes.

"Wait a minute! Don’t take pictures without saying anything!"

"I never realized my father had a streak of exhibitionism. I must report this to Mother."

"No! It’s because of this!" I pointed to the plate on the door. I couldn’t let my daughter think I was an exhibitionist. Sure, I got a bit carried away!

Kuhn looked at the plate and murmured, "I see." It seemed I dodged the exhibitionist accusation.

"The text on the back is different. Once it’s open, it stays open."

Kuhn opened and closed the door. The door on Kuhn’s side said, "If you don’t blink for ten seconds, the door will open." What is this disparity? The tasks don’t change per person, do they?

"It's a dead end on my side. How about yours?"

"Oh, uh, there’s another door further on the opposite side..."

I answered Kuhn’s question while putting my shirt back on. By the way, Kuhn-san, could you delete those photos? Eh, no? Okay.

Kuhn's path was a dead end. So, it seems I have to sing after all. That’s really embarrassing... No, after that embarrassment, I don’t care anymore.

If I’m going to sing, it’s better with Kuhn here. Singing with someone is less embarrassing than singing alone.

I brought Kuhn to the door on the opposite side. The same words were engraved on the plate. After reading it, Kuhn flashed a bright smile at me.

"Now, Father, sing your heart out."

"Wait! Just me!?"

This isn’t fair! Well, I never made a deal!

Damn it, I should’ve sung alone if I had to sing in front of my daughter!

"Uh, how about we sing together…"

"Go ahead."

"No, together…"

"Go ahead."

...Fine, I'll just do it. Now, what to sing?

English might be better than Japanese. They won’t understand the meaning, so they won’t know what kind of song it is.

Then, a song from Grandpa’s favorites.

I chose a song from the 1950s, representing the dawn of pop. It’s said to be a song of longing for an older woman who babysat the singer when he was 16. He debuted with this self-written song and shot to stardom.

The lyrics are like a prayer, asking her to stay by his side, regardless of the age difference.

As I finished the song, the door clicked open. Phew.

I glanced to my side to see Kuhn smirking at me with her smartphone camera.

"Recording complete."

"Hey!?"

Why did you record it!? Delete it, delete it! I could hear my singing from Kuhn’s smartphone. Ugh, so embarrassing!

"By the way, this woman’s name you keep repeating, she’s not your mistress, right?"

"She’s not! It’s just the lyrics!"

Don’t say scary things! If my wives hear this, they might unjustly accuse me!

Kuhn chuckled and put her smartphone away. Please, delete it.

"Now, the path is open. Let’s proceed cheerfully."

"I’m out of energy..."

Following Kuhn, I passed through the door. The path twisted and turned, but it was a straight road with no forks. However, a crossroads soon appeared.

"Which way should we go?"

"I don’t have any preferences, so you can choose, Kuhn."

"Well… turning left feels like we’re going back, so let’s go right."

Saying that, Kuhn turned left. I followed and turned left as well. After a while, a girl’s voice suddenly came from right next to us.

"Oh! Another dead end! Geez!"

"This voice is…"

"It’s Linne."

We stopped at the sound of Linne’s voice from the other side of the hedge. It seemed she was right on the other side.

"Linne! Are you there?"

"Linne?"

"Huh? Father? Kuhn onee-chan?"

Linne’s voice came back from the other side of the hedge. She’s definitely there.

"Are you two together? That’s unfair, I want to join too!"

"Well…"

We didn’t intend to meet up. If this path connects to Linne’s, we might be able to join her.

"Oh! I can jump over this hedge!"

Huh? I heard a thud, Linne’s scream, and the sound of someone falling to the ground.

"Wait!? Linne!? Are you okay!?"

"Ouch… I hit my head... What is this!? There’s an invisible lid, and I can’t jump over!"

Apparently, there’s a barrier, and you can’t jump over the hedge. No cheating allowed, huh?

"Give up for now. If you’re lucky, we might join up later. Keep moving forward."

"Okay. I’ll keep going."

We heard the sound of Linne running off.

Alright, let’s move on too. We might meet up with Linne.

We left the spot and continued along the path. Soon, we reached an open area. A square?

It was about the size of a small garden, with a signboard in the center. Beyond it was another door. Seriously?

As we approached the signboard, the ground of the path behind us suddenly rose, forming a stone wall. We’re trapped!? Damn it, is this another trap!?

"If you catch the bird in your hand, the door will open… What bird?"

In response to Kuhn reading the signboard, a chicken suddenly appeared in the square.

"Cuckoo-doodle-doo──────!"

"Wait a minute, that crow is weird! What’s with that baritone voice? And the pronunciation is way too clear! Is there a voice actor in there somewhere!?

I thought it was a chicken, but it might not be a chicken. I’ve never seen a chicken with such sharp eyes. That’s one handsome chicken.

“Is the bird you're talking about that one?”

“Probably. If the sign is correct, catching that chicken should open the door.”

Let’s catch it and move on. But when I got closer, the chicken moved away, sliding smoothly. Huh.

I approach. It moves away. I walk faster. It moves faster. I dash towards it! It dashes away! Damn it!

‘Cuckoo-doodle-doo──────!’

I chase the chicken at full speed, but it’s incredibly fast! This definitely isn’t an ordinary chicken!?

Damn, if only I could use 【Accel】, I could catch it in one go!

“Are you alright, Father?”

“Eh!? Ah, yeah, hahaha! I’m fine, I’m fine! Just wait, I’ll catch it soon!”

This is bad! At this rate, my dignity as a father is at risk! Alright, let’s get serious!

I inch closer, feinting and gradually cornering the chicken into a corner of the plaza. Heh, now you’re a chicken in a trap!

Just as the chicken stops moving, I leap at it. Gotcha!

But the next moment, the chicken spreads its wings wide and jumps high. What the…!?

‘Cuckoo-doodle-doo──────!’

The chicken steps on my head and runs down my back. I turn to see the chicken looking at me as if to say, “Did you think you could catch me, boy?” This guy…! Did he just snicker at me? How about I make you into chicken nanban…!?

“Pfft… are you okay, Father?”

“Haha… This chicken is really quick…”

Grinning through gritted teeth, I take off my coat and hand it to Kuhn. I won’t forgive you. If that’s how you want to play, I’ll give you my full effort. You’ll regret it, got it!?

“You're really being childish, you know?”

I pretend not to hear Kuhn’s small murmur. There are battles a man mustn’t run away from!

Although, this might not be one of those battles, but who cares. You’ve mocked me…! Chicken…!

Just watch, I’ll make you pay!

　　　　　　　　　　◇　◇　◇

“Gotcha!”

‘Cuckoo-doodle-doo──────!?’

A few minutes later, I managed to grab the chicken by the neck with both hands. You really mocked me…! Serves you right!

“Kukukuku… Now then, fried chicken or chicken steak… No, chicken nanban is best, right?”

‘K!? Kukuku, Cuckoo-doodle-doo──────!?’

“You’re changing the goal, Father.”

Kuhn murmured in exasperation, snapping me back to reality. Crap, have I completely lost my dignity as a father?

As I’m sweating over how to recover, the chicken disappears from my hands with a swoosh. Huh?

“The door has opened. Let’s move on.”

“Oh, yeah.”

Kuhn moves through the opened door. I follow her through the door. Hmm, maybe I never had any dignity to begin with.

“I made sure to record it properly.”

“Again!?”

Why does this kid always do that!? Do you want to disgrace me!?

As I slump my shoulders, Kuhn laughs mischievously. This kid loves taking videos and photos, but is it a hobby or something?

“More like… I’m a fairy, so I’ll probably live longer than my other siblings. I want to keep lots of memories so I don’t forget.”

Hmm. When you put it that way…

My children, as the familiars of the World God, are like demigods. They are more capable than normal humans, but their lifespan is just slightly longer.

However, Kuhn is a fairy, so she’ll probably live the longest.

She’s trying to preserve memories of her parents and siblings now. Even though she’s only ten years old…

I gently stroke her silky white hair, inherited from her mother.

Kuhn, who had been startled, soon narrows her eyes and smiles.

“Don’t worry, Father. I’ll marry last since I have a long life. I’ll be with you the longest.”

“Well, I’m not sure about that…”

While it would be sad for my daughter to marry quickly, it’s also a bit concerning if she never marries.

“I’ll do something about it before I reach six hundred.”

“That’s too long!”

Talking about something that would make Lin mad, we proceed through the hedge maze.

The path ahead splits into a T-junction. Do we have to choose left or right again…?

“Father.”

“Hm?”

Kuhn pulls my sleeve as I’m feeling a bit fed up. Turning around, I see Elna appear from another T-junction down the right path, looking anxious.

“Oh, Father, Kuhn-neechan!”

“Elna?”

Elna runs towards us with a beaming smile and hugs Kuhn. She must have been worried, as she’s a bit teary-eyed.

“I’m so glad. I could hear everyone’s voices, but I couldn’t meet up… I was going in circles the whole time.”

It seems that Elna found several doors but bypassed those she couldn’t open. Well, that was the right call. There's no need to force progress. We can escape when the time comes.

“By the way, what kind of doors were they?”

“Um, well, things like ‘doing a seductive pose,’ ‘whispering something lewd,’ or ‘panty shots’… I wasn’t really sure…”

“Sheskaaaa!”

Once again, I shout at the dumb maid. Producing such nonsense!

That fool is really bad for education! What kind of sexual harassment does he think he’s pulling on my kids, that bastard!

Elna seemed confused and bewildered, but Kuhn had a slightly frowning face. It’s understandable; even if it's not directed at me, it’s disturbing to see such harassment aimed at her innocent younger sister.

“Kuhn-neechan, what’s a ‘seductive pose’?”

“It's better if you don’t know. Just stay as you are, Elna.”

Kuhn hugs her younger sister tightly. Elna, still puzzled with a “??” expression, also hugs Kuhn back without understanding the situation.

The three of us then began walking in the opposite direction of the path Elna came from.

But can we really reach the goal like this…? If only we could see from above… but it seems there’s a barrier overhead. And since we can’t use magic, it’s a bit impossible.

…Wait a minute?

The magic-blocking barrier is preventing magic from affecting the surroundings… So while things like phones, emails, and compasses that use the surrounding magical energy are unusable, other functions should still work. Kuhn was taking pictures and videos, after all. It’s just that only the internet and phone connections are cut off.

Dr.’s smartphones for everyone are probably all the same.

However—my smartphone is different.

It’s a divine artifact, powered by divine force. It worked even on Earth without magical energy. Maybe…

As I walked behind Kuhn and Elna, I took out my smartphone and quietly checked the map search…

“…Yes! Bingo!”

“? What’s up, Father?”

“Eh!? Oh, it’s nothing!”

“Is that so…?”

Elna looked back at me, tilting her head while I was quietly pumping my fist. Oh no, oh no. Was it suspicious behavior?

I lowered my gaze to the smartphone screen, grinning to myself. It clearly showed the entire maze and our current position.

As expected from the World God’s handiwork. Following this, reaching the goal shouldn’t be too difficult.

Thank you, World God. This will restore my fatherly dignity.

While I was silently thanking the World God in my heart, to my surprise, I received an email from the very deity. Huh?

‘No cheating in front of the children.’

I was being watched. As expected.